That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
