White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
