we have officially lost it.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
