Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize