i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
