What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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