I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
