so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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