Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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