i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
