It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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