no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
