Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
