he wants to bone in the snuggie
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
