just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
