just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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