Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
