Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
