Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize