that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm determined to sit on that face.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
