i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
