Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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