i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
