i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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