i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize