I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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