Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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