Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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