why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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