hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
