yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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