I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
