she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
