jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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