In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
