We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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