it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize