Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Randomize
