I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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