while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
