"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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