maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
