who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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