So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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