don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
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HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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