I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize