New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
