You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
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The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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