you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
