we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
