the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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