All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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