At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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