omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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