My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you didnt know i had herpes?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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