OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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